Upside-down thyself.

Seismic Revolt.

2011-10-20T20:33:00.009-05:00

Something fights.

It tried keeping me foggy, confused, self-focused, and dependent with pharmaceuticals for pain, depression and anxiety. In the past, it worked.

So I rejected those pharmaceuticals.

It tried inflicting acute, excruciating pain – enough for me to cry out – to remove me from commitments to children and grown-ups. To distract me from others. In the past, it worked.

So I told that pain it had no power over me now.

It tried swelling, blurring, and sticking closed my eyes. Was this to keep me from reading pages of truth and good news? Was this to empower embarrassment and vanity to overshadow my commitments, integrity, or other people’s needs? In the past, it worked.

So I washed my eyes again and again. And again.

And I read through the blur. And I joyfully fulfilled my commitments despite distorted, red and inflamed eyes. And I will continue to do so.

With vigor, with energy, with perseverance.
With overflowing patience.
Complete presence.

And I laugh at how trivial, these attempts to deter me.

Oh, dear designer of distractions: I reject your attempts to divert my vision inward.

Oh, dear author of confusion, pain, discomfort: Do you know how small you are compared to what compels me? You are an ant.

This is not a dare, this is a revolt.

Dear Lord: Are You Sure?

2011-10-20T12:28:00.002-05:00

Dear Lord,; Thank you for accepting me. For loving me.; And, are you sure?; Even despite those mislead times and choices that so obviously displayed my rotten self-possession?; My worship of myself?; My vanity in choosing whatever felt good at the moment. Choosing what might bring me the most comfort at the time.
: My obsession with looking a certain way to others and orchestrating detail.; My concern with my image and the accrual of things – material or social status symbols – to enhance that image. (I didn't know a collective "image" of me does not even exist!); My obsession with hiding certain things from others and orchestrating detail.; My concern with keeping the secrets of my personal life secret, the struggles, that I fought to hide in order to maintain that image? (I didn’t know we have no private lives!); My confusion in thinking countless hours with psychologists or psychiatrists working on myself was actually so that I could be a better person to others in my life. (What utter self-deception!); The individuals that I’ve hurt in pursuit of my own comfort.; You forgive me for those things I’ve done?; Those things that that only now bring tears to my eyes, as only now do I understand how profoundly they pained you.; I weep not for my choices, for the girl and woman who made them; this here is not self-pity.; I weep for your forgiveness and love despite my choices. That you knew I needed to make them in order to know you.; And you were here with me the entire time.; Thank you for this day.

Hiding in Plain Sight

2011-10-20T11:42:00.002-05:00

End Demand Illinois Spells it Out:

A local sex trafficking case was declared a mistrial when a witness recognized the defense attorney as a client in the massage parlor where prostitution allegedly took place. How does trafficking hide in plain sight?

Johns (people who buy sex) aren’t often in the limelight. Instead, they face few consequences for their crimes and escape media scrutiny. Most news stories about prostitution focus on the women who are sold, while the buyers who drive demand remain invisible.

The stories in this newsletter seek to illuminate how efforts to hold pimps, johns and traffickers accountable are succeeding. Law enforcement agencies are devoting more time and resources to addressing demand, and they are celebrating the effectiveness of this approach. We also reveal a few places where more work needs to be done, including massage parlors and spas that hide trafficking in plain sight.

I hope you enjoy learning more about EDI and our partners’ work on the campaign.

Sincerely,

Lynne Johnson

Policy and Advocacy Director

200+ Johns Arrested Nationwide

Local Law Enforcement Participates

Just last week, law enforcement arrested more than 200 johns in six cities nationwide in an effort to curb the demand for prostitution. It was called the National Day of Johns Arrests, and locally purchasers were arrested in Cook County, Aurora and Elgin. We applaud these efforts, which included work from our partners at the Cook County Sheriff’s Office. Nationally, 71 johns had their vehicles towed and many will pay fines or face other penalties. Read more about the national sting here.

27 Johns Charged in Local Operation

In August, we shared news about a local sting that brought down 10 pimps and traffickers in Cook County. During that sting, the Cook County State’s Attorney’s Office and the Cook County Sheriff also arrested and charged 27 johns.

“Suppressing demand is an integral part of our approach to ending sex trafficking,” said Cook County State’s Attorney Anita Alvarez. “Whether they realize it or not, johns often purchase sex from women and girls who have been trafficked into the sex trade. Buying sex fuels exploitation, and we are holding johns accountable for the harm they cause.” Read more about the local sting here.

America to Support East Africa?!

2011-10-18T18:27:00.003-05:00

The spoon I was feeding the baby with practically dropped from my hand when I heard it.

Although that television had been on all day in another room, we hardly noticed. We had back-packs to pack, bottles to bottle, games to play, leaves to rake, places to go. The television? White noise to the four of us: myself, the infant, and 5 and 7 year old boys.

White noise until I heard it crystal clear: “…President Obama has authorized troops to Central Africa to aid efforts in bringing down Joseph Kony…”, and practically dropped the spoon as I dashed into the room with the television.

The news pundits scratch their heads, baffled. They said "we have no strategic interest in Central Africa" and "there are no resources of interest to us there." Hence, they surmised it was a ludicrous decision. And my heart broke for their detachment from the human suffering that Joseph Kony and his LRA (Lord's Resistance Army) have inflicted on the region for the last 25 years.

Last Friday and unexpectedly, Obama authorized 100 troops dispatched to Sudan, Kenya, and Uganda. In an effort to help local governments take out Joseph Kony and his LRA. For over two decades, LRA soldiers have systematically broken-in to local homes and terrorized families. They select young boys - whom they force to rape their own mothers in front of their many siblings. Although sometimes they're given options. I know personally of a case, witnessed by a teen-age girl, who watched as her brother carefully chose between raping his mother or placing his infant sibling in a pot of boiling water, to cook. They the LRA soldiers give that 10 year old boy an AK 47.

The trauma and resulting psychological damage to the boy and his family make the notion of ever returning home, yet alone healing, practically impossible. It's gut-wrenching stuff. (And if you're not cringing or vomiting reading about or learning of this, then my heart breaks for you, too.)

And today I received the following message from Resolve, a human rights and anti-human trafficking organization that I'm involved with. They are asking for participation in a call to Members of Congress on Thursday - I'll be involved and I'm asking that you will too.

Dear Nicole –

Last Friday, President Obama announced that he was dispatching 100 U.S. military advisers to help governments in central Africa keep people safe from LRA attacks.

I don’t think I need to tell you this, but I will anyway: this is the one of the most exciting developments in the history of our work, and our leaders need to hear about our support. In his letter announcing the move, the President cited last year’s legislation as justification, and stated that:

For more than two decades, the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) has murdered, raped, and kidnapped tens of thousands of men, women, and children in central Africa… [U.S.] forces will act as advisers to partner forces that have the goal of removing from the battlefield Joseph Kony and other senior leadership of the LRA.

Both Democratic and Republican Members of Congress immediately welcomed the announcement. More news coverage highlighting the LRA crisis was generated than ever before. Our office is working day and night right now to get the facts out there.

But in the divided and challenging political climate we face, this new development will be politicized and attacked unless strong public support is visibly demonstrated. Already, one commentator bizarrely claimed on his radio show that “the Lord’s Resistance Army are Christians,” and that they are fighting to “see an end to gross violations of human rights and dignity of Ugandans.”

That’s why we are asking that you join a nation-wide call-in this Thursday, and contact your Members of Congress to make sure they know the truth. The deployment of these advisers in itself will not solve the problem, but it is a historic step forward – and we have to fight to protect it.

On Thursday morning, we’ll send you all the information you need. Thank you for your tireless efforts that helped make this happen.

- Michael

P.S. - Visit our blog and follow our twitter stream for the latest updates, as new details are coming fast and furious.

RIVER

2011-10-16T16:04:00.005-05:00

So focused was she

on the scene across the river

that without watching her step

she fell directly in.

Instant saturation.

And this river, a very wet one,

had not care or conscience

for her accompanying
accoutrements.

The carefully chosen clothing

now heavy and cumbersome.
Now unnecessary weight.

The fashionable or valuable

gold or silver or beaded jewels

mattered not here.

And the current twisted them off.

The paper dollars dissolved (!)

coins sank and stayed still in the sediment
below.

And looking back
toward the bank from which she tumbled
she saw familiar friends and strangers,
both.

Each held a mirror.

In the mirrors they checked
their image reflected back
their clothes were in tact
and jewels still attached
and paper and metal currency still tucked
in places
where it can be tucked.

Assured that their things were still theirs
they turned to look
at each another.

And saw each others things
Gawked at each others' rings
How silly they had been
to think about their own things!

They thought:
"If only I had that person's things
what joy it would bring!"

(To Be Continued...)

Local Chicago Sex Trafficking Victim Shares Her Story

2011-09-16T10:08:00.000-05:00

A 14-year-old girl we'll call Mariah went to a party with a friend in May. She was drugged and kidnapped that night and later sold for sex.

Source: http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/Sex_Trafficking_Victim_Shares_Her_Story_Chicago-129929643.html?rr=td#ixzz1Y80OJGCO

"The Men Who Buy Sex Are Your Neighbors And Colleagues."

2011-07-19T14:51:00.000-05:00

(Newsweek article by Leslie Bennetts, 7/18/11)

(Link: http://www.newsweek.com/2011/07/17/the-growing-demand-for-prostitution.html)

The John Next Door

The men who buy sex are your neighbors and colleagues. A new study reveals how the burgeoning demand for porn and prostitutes is warping personal relationships and endangering women and girls.

Paul Popper / Popperfoto-Getty Images

Men of all ages, races, religions, and backgrounds do it. Rich men do it, and poor men do it, in forms so varied and ubiquitous that they can be summoned at a moment’s notice.

And yet surprisingly little is known about the age-old practice of buying sex, long assumed to be inevitable. No one even knows what proportion of the male population does it; estimates range from 16 percent to 80 percent. “Ninety-nine percent of the research in this field has been done on prostitutes, and 1 percent has been done on johns,” says Melissa Farley, director of Prostitution Research and Education, a nonprofit organization that is a project of San Francisco Women’s Centers.

A clinical psychologist, Farley studies prostitution, trafficking, and sexual violence, but even she wasn’t sure how representative her results were. “The question has always remained: are all our findings true of just sex buyers, or are they true of men in general?” she says.

In a new study released exclusively to NEWSWEEK, “Comparing Sex Buyers With Men Who Don’t Buy Sex,” Farley provides some startling answers. Although the two groups share many attitudes about women and sex, they differ in significant ways illustrated by two quotes that serve as the report’s subtitle.

One man in the study explained why he likes to buy prostitutes: “You can have a good time with the servitude,” he said. A contrasting view was expressed by another man as the reason he doesn’t buy sex: “You’re supporting a system of degradation,” he said.

And yet buying sex is so pervasive that Farley’s team had a shockingly difficult time locating men who really don’t do it. The use of pornography, phone sex, lap dances, and other services has become so widespread that the researchers were forced to loosen their definition in order to assemble a 100-person control group.

“We had big, big trouble finding nonusers,” Farley says. “We finally had to settle on a definition of non-sex-buyers as men who have not been to a strip club more than two times in the past year, have not purchased a lap dance, have not used pornography more than one time in the last month, and have not purchased phone sex or the services of a sex worker, escort, erotic masseuse, or prostitute.”

Many experts believe the digital age has spawned an enormous increase in sexual exploitation; today anyone with access to the Internet can easily make a “date” through online postings, escort agencies, and other suppliers who cater to virtually any sexual predilection. The burgeoning demand has led to a dizzying proliferation of services so commonplace that many men don’t see erotic massages, strip clubs, or lap dances as forms of prostitution. “The more the commercial sex industry normalizes this behavior, the more of this behavior you get,” says Norma Ramos, executive director of the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women (CATW).

The ordinariness of sex buyers is suggested by their traditional designation as “johns,” the most generic of male names. “They’re the cops, the schoolteacher—the dignified, respected individuals. They’re everybody,” says a young woman who was trafficked into prostitution at the age of 10 and asked to be identified as T.O.M.

Equally typical were the men in Farley’s study, who lived in the Boston area and ranged from 20 to 75, with an average age of 41. Most were married or partnered, like the majority of men who patronize prostitutes.

Overall, the attitudes and habits of sex buyers reveal them as men who dehumanize and commodify women, view them with anger and contempt, lack empathy for their suffering, and relish their own ability to inflict pain and degradation.

Farley found that sex buyers were more likely to view sex as divorced from personal relationships than nonbuyers, and they enjoyed the absence of emotional involvement with prostitutes, whom they saw as commodities. “Prostitution treats women as objects and not ... humans,” said one john interviewed for the study.

In their interviews, the sex buyers often voiced aggression toward women, and were nearly eight times as likely as nonbuyers to say they would rape a woman if they could get away with it. Asked why he bought sex, one man said he liked “to beat women up.” Sex buyers in the study committed more crimes of every kind than nonbuyers, and all the crimes associated with violence against women were committed by the johns.

Prostitution has always been risky for women; the average age of death is 34, and the American Journal of Epidemiology reported that prostitutes suffer a “workplace homicide rate” 51 times higher than that of the next most dangerous occupation, working in a liquor store.

Farley’s findings suggest that the use of prostitution and pornography may cause men to become more aggressive. Sex buyers in the study used significantly more pornography than nonbuyers, and three quarters of them said they received their sex education from pornography, compared with slightly more than half of the nonbuyers. “Over time, as a result of their prostitution and pornography use, sex buyers reported that their sexual preferences changed and they sought more sadomasochistic and anal sex,” the study reported.

“Prostitution can get you to think that things you may have done with a prostitute you should expect in a mutual loving relationship,” said one john who was interviewed. Such beliefs inspire anger toward other women if they don’t comply, impairing men’s ability to sustain relationships with nonprostitutes.

Sex buyers often prefer the license they have with prostitutes. “You’re the boss, the total boss,” said another john. “Even us normal guys want to say something and have it done no questions asked. No ‘I don’t feel like it.’ No ‘I’m tired.’ Unquestionable obedience. I mean that’s powerful. Power is like a drug.”

Many johns view their payment as giving them unfettered permission to degrade and assault women. “You get to treat a ho like a ho,” one john said. “You can find a ho for any type of need—slapping, choking, aggressive sex beyond what your girlfriend will do.”

Although sex buyers saw prostitution as consensual, other men acknowledged that more complex economic and emotional factors influence the “choice” to prostitute oneself. “You can see that life circumstances have kind of forced her into that,” said one nonbuyer in the study. “It’s like someone jumping from a burning building—you could say they made their choice to jump, but you could also say they had no choice.”

T.O.M.’s story is a case in point. Her father went to prison when she was 2 years old, and she was 4 the first time her body was exchanged for drugs by her mother, an addict. Growing up in foster-care families, she was abused in every one. When she was 10, a 31-year-old pimp promised he would take care of her. “He was my savior at first—I was stealing food to survive. He said, ‘I’ll be your mom, your dad, your boyfriend—but you have to do this thing for me.’ And then he sold me.”

For the next five years, until he went to jail, her pimp trafficked her all over the Western United States. “I looked very much like a child for the first three years, and that made it more profitable for him,” T.O.M. reports, still diminutive and fine-boned at 21. In Farley’s study, one thing that johns and men who don’t buy sex agreed on was the ease of access to such children: nearly 100 percent of men interviewed in the study said that minors were virtually always available for purchase in Boston.

Trafficked children often have histories similar to that of T.O.M. Research indicates that most prostitutes were sexually abused as girls, and they typically enter “the life” between the ages of 12 and 14. The majority have drug dependencies or mental illnesses, and one third have been threatened with death by pimps, who often use violence to keep them in line.

But the sex buyers in Farley’s study overlooked such coercion and showed little empathy for prostitutes’ experiences or their cumulative toll. Researchers and service providers consistently find high levels of posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, suicidal ideation, and other psychological problems among prostitutes. “It doesn’t matter whether it’s in a back alley or on silk sheets, legal or illegal—all kinds of prostitution cause extreme emotional stress for the women involved,” Farley says.

And yet johns prefer to view prostitutes as loving sex and enjoying their customers. “The sex buyers were way off in their estimates of the women’s feelings,” Farley reports. “In reality, the bottom line is that prostituted women are not enjoying sex, and the longer she’s in it, the less she enjoys sex acts—even in her real life, because she has to shut down in order to perform sex acts with 10 strangers a day, and she can’t turn it back on. What happens is called somatic dissociation; this also happens to incest survivors and people who are tortured.”

Farley is a leading proponent of the “abolitionist” view that prostitution is inherently harmful and should be eradicated, and her findings are likely to inflame an already contentious issue. “Modern-day prostitution is modern-day slavery,” says former ambassador Swanee Hunt, founding director of the Women and Public Policy Program at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government and cofounder of the Hunt Alternatives Fund, a sponsor of Farley’s study.

But other feminists defend pornography on First Amendment or “sex-positive” grounds, and support women’s freedom to “choose” prostitution. Tracy Quan, who became a prostitute as a 14-year-old runaway, says that many women do it for lack of better economic opportunities. “When I was 16, it’s not like there were great high-paying jobs out there for me,” says Quan, the author of Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl and a spokeswoman for a sex workers’ advocacy group.

“My view of the sex industry is that if we treat it as work and address some of its dangers, it would be less dangerous,” says Melissa Ditmore, an author and research consultant to the Sex Workers Project of the Urban Justice Center in New York.

And yet even Quan admits she had one customer who tied her up and scared her so badly she thought he was going to kill her. Noting that such men often escalate their violence over time, she starts to cry; there is a long silence as she struggles to regain control. “I always wondered if he went on to kill somebody else,” she says finally.

In response to such dangers, a growing antitrafficking movement is now targeting sexual exploitation both here and abroad. “Before this time, we heard from ‘happy hookers,’ we saw Pretty Woman, the whole country was being fed a pack of lies about prostitution, and sex trafficking was invisible,” says Dorchen Leidholdt, cofounder of CATW. “There is a growing recognition that this is pervasive, that it’s enslavement, and that we’ve got to do something about it.”

No one really knows how many women and children are trafficked for sex in the United States, often through the use of force, fraud, or coercion; the scope of the problem is hotly debated, but many believe it is growing. An array of organizations are now working to combat trafficking by building coalitions to reshape policies and change attitudes in the criminal-justice and social-welfare systems. “I think there has been an amazing evolution in thinking, and the movement is growing by the day,” says Norma Ramos of CATW.

Such efforts have led to the passage of tougher enforcement laws and the growing use of “john schools” that offer educational programs and counseling as an alternative to sentencing for first offenders. Their effectiveness is under debate, however; Farley’s study found that johns themselves viewed jail as a far more powerful deterrent to recidivism, and the strongest deterrent of all was the threat of being registered as a sex offender.

Estimates suggest that “for every john arrested for attempting to buy sex, there are up to 50 women in prostitution arrested,” Farley reports.

But the traditional double standard that punished women and forgave men is also being reevaluated. “It’s been accepted that this is something men will do, without any real thought about the victims,” says New York City Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly, whose department recently started an antitrafficking unit and increased its sting operations against johns. “It was considered a victimless crime. But it certainly isn’t; we realize that young women are being victimized.”

During her years in prostitution, T.O.M. reports that the police often violated her and always treated her “as a criminal, not a victim. This is the only form of child abuse where the child is put behind bars,” says T.O.M., who has escaped prostitution and is now working as a youth advocate in California.

Many law-enforcement officials say such longstanding practices are changing and credit the efforts of the antitrafficking movement. “I’ve seen a huge shift,” says Inspector Brian Bray, commander of the Narcotics and Special Investigations Division of the Metropolitan Police Department in Washington, D.C. “When I first started, I didn’t really understand how many of these girls have been trafficked. Now our mindset has changed from assuming the girls are criminals to trying to rescue the victims, provide them the services they need, and get information to lock up their traffickers. Most of our arrests used to be female prostitutes, but now we arrest more johns than we do prostitutes.”

Striking developments abroad are also influencing policies in the United States. In 1999 Sweden decided that prostitution was a form of violence against women and made it a crime to buy sex, although not to sell it. This approach dramatically reduced trafficking, whereas the legalization of prostitution in the Netherlands, Germany, and much of Australia led to an explosive growth in demand that generated an increase in trafficking and other crimes. Sweden’s success in dealing with the problem has persuaded other countries to follow suit. “The Swedish model passed in South Korea, Norway, and Iceland, and has been introduced in Israel and Mexico,” says Ramos.

Despite the struggle to control it, human trafficking is often described as the fastest-growing criminal enterprise in the world, and as second only to drug trafficking in its profitability. With billions of dollars at stake, the campaign against sexual exploitation has also provoked a predictable backlash. Last year Craigslist shut down its “adult” classified-ads section in response to the antitrafficking campaign led by Malika Saada Saar, founder of the Rebecca Project for Human Rights. The Craigslist crackdown increased revenue at Backpage.com, where The Village Voice runs its own adult ads.

Clearly worried about growing social pressure, the Voice attacked the antitrafficking campaign last month, charging that it has exaggerated the extent of the problem. The most common estimates, oft-repeated by major media, suggest that 100,000 to 300,000 children are trafficked in the United States every year. The Voice reported that this statistic identifies children at risk and claimed that the number of those who are actually trafficked is only a fraction of those figures. But the Voice’s calculations were promptly dismissed as unreliable; Seattle’s mayor and police chief pointed out that their city alone is estimated to have hundreds of minors exploited for commercial sex, and they accused Backpage.com of acting as an “accelerant” of underage sex trafficking.

The Voice also ridiculed Real Men Don’t Buy Girls, the antitrafficking video campaign launched earlier this year by Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher with a series of public-service ads featuring Justin Timberlake, Sean Penn, Bradley Cooper, and Jamie Foxx. The ads reflect a growing recognition that men are the key to addressing this problem.

Sex buyers are overwhelmingly male, and they purchase males as well as females. Whatever its form, the underlying question posed by prostitution remains the same: should people be entitled to buy other human beings for sexual gratification? If such ancient practices are to be curtailed, both johns and men who don’t buy sex will have to rethink their complicity, according to Ted Bunch, cofounder of A Call to Men, a national organization working to end violence against women and girls.

“This is the first generation of men that’s being held accountable for something men have always gotten away with, and that’s why you have such a backlash,” Bunch says. “Our social conditioning is to see women as objects, as property—that’s what commercial sexual exploitation is all about. It’s a multibillion-dollar industry; it makes more money than the NFL, the NBA, and Major League Baseball combined.”

Fighting that behemoth will require the participation of both sexes. “The system has been set up to blame women for the violence men perpetrate, and this has been seen as a women’s issue, so it’s easy for men not to get involved. But men’s silence about the violence men perpetrate is as much of a problem as the violence itself,” Bunch says. “Men feed the demand, and men have to eradicate the demand.”

http://www.newsweek.com/2011/07/17/the-growing-demand-for-prostitution.html

Something Stinks in Chicago - Right Under Your Nose

2011-06-06T14:04:00.000-05:00

Last week I met a woman here in Chicago who was hand-cuffed to a bed from ages 15 to 17, where she was raped and beaten daily. When her pimp finally put her on the street, she fled. Today she advocates on behalf of human-trafficking victims and does outreach work with The Dreamcatcher Foundation. She is one of tens of thousands of girls forced into sexual slavery here in Chicago.

Hearing from her, as well as a panel of experts in the field of human-trafficking in Chicago, rattled me. I'm shocked at what's going on here in Chicago - right under our noses. The panel, organized by Traffick Free, included: a policy advisor from the cook county state's attorney's office (Jennifer Greene), Detective Alan Krok from the CPD (who by the way is the ONLY CHICAGO DETECTIVE ASSIGNED TO COVER HUMAN TRAFFICKING), the program manager from the Salvation Army's STOP-IT (Erin Knowles Wirsing), and the founder of the Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation (Rachel Durchslag).

The biggest kicker: we wouldn't have such a rampant supply of sex slaves and forced prostitutes if we didn't provide the demand.

In a nutshell, here is the legal definition and topline of what's happening in Chicago right under our noses. (Taken directly from EndDemandIllinois.org):

Prostitution and trafficking in Illinois:

The Trafficking Victims Protection Act of 2000, defines "sex trafficking" (iv) as "the recruitment, harboring, transportation, providing, or obtaining of a person for a commercial sex act," and defines severe forms of trafficking in persons as "sex trafficking" which a commercial sex act is induced by force, fraud, or coercion, or the person induced to perform such an act has not attained 18 years of age. (v) Illinois is a source, transit, and destination state for transnational trafficking as well as the internal trafficking of U.S. citizens and foreign nationals. Chicago's central geographic location, regionally divided and often insular ethnic communities, transportation infrastructure, and the O'Hare International Airport make the city an ideal location for traffickers to bring victims into Illinois and transport them to other cities and states. Labor and sex trafficking cases have also been reported in suburban communities and rural areas throughout Illinois. Due to the covert nature of the crime and high levels of underreporting, the total number of trafficking victims in Illinois is difficult to determine.

173 calls from Illinois were made to the National Human Trafficking Resource Center in 2008. Illinois generated the fifth highest number of calls, preceded only by New York and the border states of Texas, California and Florida. (vi) While trafficking may be prevalent in other industries as well, trafficking within the sex industry is pervasive and inherent. Recent interviews conducted in Chicago with young women and girls who were under the control of pimps and traffickers confirm the link between sex trafficking and prostitution. Those interviewed were recruited into prostitution through fraud and deception and were then maintained through force, fraud, coercion, manipulation and economic exploitation. Pimps transported one-third to other cities and states for the purposes of selling sex (vii). The men to whom these women and girls are sold to perpetuate and perpetrate abuse, thereby maintaining these victims in an everlasting cycle of harm (viii). Traffickers and pimps target girls who have experienced high rates of child sexual abuse. Recent interviews with five ex-pimps in Chicago document their practices of recruiting girls as young as 14 from among the needy, and controlling them by retaining all their earnings (ix). Often times they target women and girls from impoverished communities who have little or no options to escape poverty.

Many of these pimps "supplied" women and girls to strip clubs and escort services for the purposes of selling sex. (x) Recent interviews conducted with Chicago men who buy sex confirmed that the vast majority do so in indoor venues such as bars, strip clubs, escort agencies, massage parlors and brothels. Many men also sought women on the street and on-line. Seventy-five percent of these interviewees said they had observed women in prostitution with pimps. (xi) One survey confirmed that half of women at escort services and forty percent of those on the street gave a cut of their earnings to someone else. Three-fourths of those stated that they would face harm if they did not do so. (xii)

The interviews with ex-pimps indicate that most worked for highly organized businesses and supplied girls to escort services and strip clubs, and divided up revenue. Most of these pimps also admitted that the women and girls did not keep any of the money they made .(xiii)

Collectively, the various Chicago surveys of women and girls in prostitution and men who buy sex indicate that the sex trade industry is a very lucrative and abusive enterprise, often controlled by third parties who operate out of legitimate, regulated businesses. The pimps, traffickers, profiteers and their customer base act largely above the law.

iv Section 103(9)

v Section 103(8), paragraph (a)

vi "Human Trafficking in Illinois," (fact sheet, Polaris Project, March, 2009)

vii Jody Raphael and Jessica Ashley, "Domestic Sex Trafficking of Chicago Women and Girls," (report, DePaul University & Illinois Criminal Justice Information Authority, May 2008).

viii Jody Raphael and Deborah L. Shapiro, "Sisters Speak Out: The Lives and Needs of Prostituted Women in Chicago," (report, Center for Impact Research, Chicago 2002).

ix Jody Raphael, "Interviews with Five Ex-Pimps in Chicago," (report, DePaul University, April 2009). NOTE: it is the researchers aim to expand this research.

x Jody Raphael and Jessica Ashley, "Domestic Sex Trafficking of Chicago Women and Girls," (report, DePaul University & Illinois Criminal Justice Information Authority, May 2008).

xi Rachel Durchslag and Samir Goswami, "Deconstructing the Demand for Prostitution: Preliminary Insights from Interviews with Chicago Men who Purchase Sex," (report, Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation, Chicago 2008).

xii Jody Raphael and Deborah L. Shapiro, "Sisters Speak Out: The Lives and Needs of Prostituted Women in Chicago," (report, Center for Impact Research, Chicago 2002).

xiii Jody Raphael and Brenda Myers-Powell, "Interviews with five ex-pimps in Chicago," (reportDePaul University, April 2009).

A Plea: "Pray for Uganda"

2011-04-29T12:14:00.004-05:00

As we in Chicago excitedly embark upon what feels like the first weekend of spring, our friends and loved-ones abroad in Uganda endure rioting and terror. A terror that will likely leave them shaken and struggling for time to come because it bears emotional and psychological impact. This is something that our compatriots know at least second hand, because they're there to help with Ugandan recovery in the first place. The horrors those people, those children, have endured at the hands of Joseph Kony, the LRA, and institutionalized sex-slavery, is staggering. Gut wrenching.

Let's keep these folks in mind as we enjoy the fortune of living somewhere safe. Somewhere we can close our eyes and breathe deeply of this crisp, fragrant spring; for many of us it is filled with hope. New beginnings.

A friend of mine (who I'll keep anonymous until I hear back from her that it's ok to publish) works for the Purse of Hope in Bwaise, the slums of Kampala (Uganda's capital). She just sent me this email:

"Pray for Uganda..."

Hey friends and family,

I have much to update you on, so many good good and beautiful things that have been happening at Purse of Hope, but for now, I need to reach out and just ask that your prayers would be with Uganda.

Some of you have been in the loop with the violence and rioting going on here over the past few weeks, and I know some of it has made international news. I have been hesitant to send an update on the violence, as I don't want to alarm people, but realize the best thing is to have you all surrounding the country, the girls at purse of hope and me in prayer.

Photo from the Daily Monitor

I was caught in one of the riots (tear gas, shootings, mobs, etc) in Bwaise (where I work) a couple weeks ago, and was extremely shaken up (to say the least). Things were heated for a week and then calmed down for a little while, and now things are heating up again over the past couple days. Today is probably the worst it's been so far. It's hard to describe exactly what it's like to be here right now, it's not like anything I've ever experienced (obviously). A lot of the violence is the aftermath of elections, response to inflation, etc. It started when the government used violent force to oppose a "walk to work day" which was an effort to take a stand against the rising prices....a peaceful protest....and yet, immediately shootings and tear gas were the method the government used to control the "walk to work day". The people have been rioting against the police and government with their own violence and things are spiraling from there. So, the tension has been building over the last 3 weeks. I thought it was over, but am now seeing it's continuing to build.

Here's a pretty accurate article of the struggles happening in Uganda: http://english.aljazeera.net/indepth/features/2011/04/201142831330647345.html

It doesn't include everything, but gives you an idea. The scary part.....is the lack of reporting going on. I have been an eye witness to some of the riots and know that the situation and death count is much more intense than the news is reporting. And today.....the entire southern part of Uganda is in riots and the only place I can find any news updates is on Twitter.

I am currently in a very safe location as well as the purse of hope girls and locked behind a gate with security, and don't intend to venture out anywhere today.

I am coming back home very soon, and pray that things calm down between now and then.

I will send an update very soon. Please keep us in your prayers.

Love from Uganda,

INVISIBLE CHILDREN EVENT APRIL 25 NEEDS MODEST DONATIONS...

2011-03-28T14:06:00.000-05:00

Yo, Friends and Family!

On April 25th I will be participating in Invisible Children's national awareness event '25' and am asking for your support. I'll be joining thousands across the country in silence for 25 hours to raise awareness about the use of child soldiers by the LRA and programs to help rehabilitate them.

The goal is to speak out (by not speaking) and stand in solidarity with the tens of thousands of children who have been abducted and forced to fight as child soldiers by Joseph Kony and his rebel army.

Any donation you can afford will help fund Invisible Children's work to protect innocent victims from the violence of this war. My fundraising goal is REALLY MODEST at $250 TOTAL... So...??!! Visit my page by clicking the link below to help support my efforts:

http://ic.stayclassy.org/member/ic-fundraising?fcid=54163

THANKS!!

Uganda: The Flight Home

2011-03-25T12:49:00.002-05:00

November 21, 2010

"Everyone is here, on this 747.
The missionaries, the volunteers, thrill-seekers, safari-goers, natives and tourists.
The members of NGO's, diplomats, lawyers, do-gooders, messer-uppers.
Redemptors. Teachers. Growers. Seekers.
Deliverers.
Servants.

The flight home is remarkably different from the flight here. The flight to Africa brimmed with excitement, networking, and conversation. People sharing agendas, intentions, causes. Now, a startling number of the same individuals occupy this fuselage for the journey back home. And are markedly more quiet. Reflective, I suspect. Maybe a bit exhausted, too.

Perhaps even surprised by the luxuries one ends up missing on a trip to the third world. You know, luxuries like tap water to brush your teeth. A hot shower.

It's the simple things you end up missing. But somehow it pales next to the important stuff, anyway. The people. The contact. The exchanges. The smiles and tight squeezes and tears you shared with 15-year-old girls who have been ravaged and abused and then pretty much discarded by their homes and tribes and societies. And then given a second chance. To live, to play, to thrive, to love. To be loved - and to know it.

It's like finding tomato plants growing on the moon.
(There's only one explanation for that.)

Now on this plane.
All of us clutch our things.
Ever-so-tightly and quietly we grip these souvenirs.
Tangible evidence of our experiences here. In Uganda.
Experiences that, for many of us, will leave us changed.
Certainly."

Uganda (Part 4): Letting Go to Go

2011-02-04T12:37:00.000-06:00

When venturing into the unknown, by default, one simply has no idea what to expect.

So you must just go with the flow.

You must
just
let
go.

As an independent woman and often solo-traveler, I have learned that "doing your homework", ie. researching a location and planning an itinerary, offers a decent modicum of safety and security, even if it's only in my head. Generally speaking. Knowing where I'm going to sleep at the end of a long day traveling or exploring provides peace of mind. And something to react to or change, if necessary, or in the moment. One can always be spontaneous, it's just that I'd rather stray from a plan than not have one.

But for this trip, my first to Africa and only second to a third world country, I would not have the luxury of planning. I could arm myself with all the research available to me - which I did in the brief two-weeks I had before departing. (By the way, there are only two published travel books covering Uganda and one of them includes all Eastern African countries: Kenya, Tanzania, Burundi, Rwanda and Uganda. And that one is not even thick.) However, the details of my day-to-day whereabouts were not up to me. So, to relinquish the reigns completely to strangers among strangers and in a strange land was palpably uncomfortable and potentially ill-advised.

You see, the extent of my knowledge about any itinerary in Uganda was this: We'd be staying in Kampala then in Gulu. "We" included myself and Kristen Hendricks, the founder and president of Purse of Hope (www.purseofhope.org). We'd be traveling with the founder/president and a few employees of another NGO (Bob Goff of Restore International) and a few of their donors. That's all i knew. And, as my dear friend Kristen, who I'd known merely a few days at the time, and in whose hands I was putting my reigns, as she put it: "we will be in Africa...so, you know...it ain't the suburbs, but we'll be smart."

This took a whole lot of trust.
And copious amounts of letting go.

Little did I know, other powers were at work...

**********

You know, a funny thing... A particular book has sat on my shelves for at least 10 years, maybe 12, and I never picked it up until the day before getting on that airplane to Africa. It's a collection of poetry. Since I have a good selection of works from the poets contained therein, I guess I've neglected it...figuring whatever is there must be in one of the more extensive collections. Well, this book suddenly caught my attention and I picked it up. And in four powerful lines, more profound than I would understand for two weeks yet ahead, the ancient Persian Poet, Rumi, offered this:

Be helpless, dumbfounded,

Unable to say yes or no.

Then a stretcher will come from grace

to gather us up.

And indeed, one did.

"The Happiness Project": Not What You Think...

2011-01-20T11:37:00.001-06:00

Last night I had the distinct displeasure of listening to an interview with an astoundingly self-focused woman.

She's been working on a "happiness project".

Sounds good, right? Interesting, certainly. But somehow, as the interview progressed, I became more and more irritated at the limitations of her focus. And the limitations of the entire project. See, she does not venture beyond her own internal feelings and explorations about how to gauge her own personal happiness and how to propel herself into more happiness. Her exploration is completely internal. Her project is solitary and completely self-focused, self-oriented, and ostensibly, self-solving.

Clearly this woman is enviably smart and articulate, driven and ambitious. Yet, the project, the exploration is one done solely within ones own head. That, to me, seems like an eternal spiral away from happiness.

I believe life is about relating to others. And now, because of my recent experience in Uganda and every choice I've made in my life that led me there, finally at 38 years old I understand that true happiness comes from busting your hump to help the less fortunate.

Taking a leap of faith and going for broke on behalf of individuals enduring absolutely inhumane circumstances, poverty, terror, abuse, slavery - THAT will re-calibrate your internal "happiness" machinery. Promise.

If we can get outside of our own heads, our own homes, our own circumstances - just for a minute - and consider some of the millions of people locally and around the world who don't have the luxury of pondering the degree of their own happiness. Ponder the people who are too busy trying to find shelter in this frigid Chicago winter, or those who struggle to get a single meal in a day, or a brief rest from the men who pay to rape and beat them.

Then do better than ponder - jump in.
Go get involved in something.
Risk a little discomfort.

What you get in return is off the "happiness" charts.

Promise.

Uganda (part 3): What do you know?

2011-01-05T17:03:00.001-06:00

The proud owner of a round-trip ticket to Uganda, it was time to see a map of Africa. Frankly, despite a degree in International Affairs, I couldn't point it out.

Uganda is in the middle of Africa, toward the East... part of what is considered East Africa and the Great Rift Valley. Uganda rests atop the northern portion of Lake Victoria, the worlds second-largest body of freshwater, a lake it shares with Tanzania and Kenya. Winston Churchill called it "the pearl of Africa." Aw. That sounds sweet.

Well, a little research sent up a few red flags. Terrorists bombed an Ethiopian restaurant in Kampala, the capital, a few months earlier. But even more worrisome, casualties from routinely crashing buses and boda (motor-bike-taxi) accidents account for a massive number of hospitalizations and deaths. (They drive like madmen, straight down the center of the narrow roads. Going blazingly fast they play "chicken." It's terrifying.) Or as Philip Briggs so elegantly puts it in his book Uganda (published by Bradt): ...(their) "uncompromising approach is disconcerting enough in towns, but terrifying on rural roads where larger vehicles approach each other head on in the manner of medieval jousters...". True that.

The fact that many of those drivers are drunk certainly doesn't help matters. The World Health Organization ranked Uganda the leading consumer of alcohol per capita in the world. (That's crazy! Look how small it is!) A 2004 study in the casualty department of a 1200-bed teaching hospital in Kampala found that alcohol constitutes an significant factor in road traffic injuries. *

Further, alcohol consumption there is linked to a whole lot of domestic violence - especially related to sex. "Women whose partner frequently or always consumed alcohol before sex faced risks of domestic violence almost five times higher than those whose partners never drank before sex."** Plus the booze is related to HIV: "In a study conducted in a rural Ugandan population, it was found that individuals who had ever drunk alcohol experienced a rate of HIV prevalence twice that of those who had never drunk."

Immunized from lots of stuff.

Oh, and you don't drink the water. You don't brush your teeth with it. Don't swim in it (parasites). Don't eat food washed in it with its skin exposed - in fact, don't eat anything unless it's cooked. Cooked and handled by someone reliable. (Um...?) The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the World Health Organization, and the US State Department agree. And before you go, they recommend immunizations for Yellow Fever, Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, Typhoid, Rabies, Meningococcal Meningitis, Cholera, Influenza, Polio, Measles, Mumps, Rubella, and current Tetanus/diphtheria/pertussis vaccinations. Absolutely bring daily preventative medication for Malaria. (If you don't take it, you will get Malaria. Ask anyone who's been there. And if you can avoid the specific physical misery it unleashes, why not just pop a pill a day?)

How completely outside my comfort zone! I'm going to a third-world country on behalf of an organization dedicated to victims of human-trafficking in forced prostitution, where half the population is under the age of 15, the other half is drunk, they drive like damn fools, there are about three paved "highways" country-wide, and I'll need to get shot-up with all sorts-of things before I go. Oh and since it's on the equator, you don't even want to play dare with that great fireball in the sky. Bring sunscreen. (And a lesson I'd learn the hard way: don't forget to put it on.)

What else? Oh. Did I mention that since 1986 (when Museveni assumed power - this was arguably a good thing) rebel soldiers, known as the LRA - the Lord's Resistance Army - have brutally terrorized northern Uganda? And with no apparent political agenda. Across the districts of Gulu and Kitgum, The LRA routinely massacred families and infants, abducted children, raped and sexually enslaved schoolgirls, and worse. (Now having been there, I have heard individual details of such horrors. It's stuff you can't even dream up in your worst nightmares.) This so-called "civil" war has simmered down since the LRA's leader disappeared (ie. went into hiding) in 2005 and the LRA has retreated into the Democratic Republic of Congo. President Museveni is still in power, however elections are in Feb. 2011 and there were around 8 or 9 candidates running for the position when I left in November 2010 - each representing different political parties. (Currently, many ex-patriots are leaving the country until the Ugandan people have voted and the new or extended current government is settled.)

Only thing I knew for sure: I was going to Kampala and Gulu. Come hell or high water. And that the only answer to my mother's question "is that safe?" was that I truly didn't know.

SOURCES:
* Andrews CN, Kobusingye OC. Road traffic accident injuries in Kampala. East African Medical
Journal, 1999, 76(4):189–194.
** Koenig MC et al. Domestic violence in rural Uganda: evidence from a community-based study.
Bulletin of the World Health Organization, 2003, 81(1):53–60.
*** Mbulaiteye SM et al. Alcohol and HIV: a study among sexually active adults in rural southwest
Uganda. International Epidemiological Association, 2000, 29(5):911–915.

Purse of Hope: Beauty from Pain

2011-01-02T18:24:00.002-06:00

The Purse of Hope organization in Uganda rescues, restores, and educates adolescent girls from human trafficking and forced prostitution. These girls - full of hope and determination, and equipped with vocational and educational support - have a new lease on life. Isn't that grand?

Check this out (and prepare to feel all your molecules transform into fireworks):

www.purseofhope.org

(Video created by Kristen Hendricks, founder, Purse of Hope.)

Uganda (Part 2): Uganda?

2010-12-20T09:09:00.002-06:00

It was and wasn't a snap decision to go.

In form, certainly.

In substance, not.

As to the substance: I had been searching for a meaningful trip. A journey with consequences, you know? One with serious implications and long term ones, too. Not just another vacation to consume but a voyage that pushed the boundaries of comfort and of discomfort. An experience that broadened my spectrum. One that challenged me socially and culturally, philosophically and spiritually. An endeavor that put my body, my brain and my heart to good use. Experiences that might conflict with my opinions. Experiences that weren't even about me.

Because all this gluten-free

and almond milk

and this-yoga or that-yoga

and one-thousand thread-count sheets

and therapy (or need of it, or lack of it)

and self-help-psychology (or need of it, or lack of it)

and Eckhart Tolle books

and Dr. Oz medical discoveries

and "do you prefer the mountains or the beach" vacations

and art - mine, yours, home-made, mass-produced, created or enjoyed -

and the latest fashion trends

and newest handbags

and, shoes, ooh, shoes...

and...

...and all the things we're fortunate enough to have, purchase, or explore in this rich country of ours. Somehow, all these things can become weighty, can direct our attention and energy inward. Sometimes, too much. How do we look? How do we feel? What do we think? What does it mean? Too much self-help can become it's own inward vortex. It seems... so... indulgent.

So I searched for a journey of service, of consequence. A mission.

Originally, my efforts focused on India. Exotic, complicated, dynamic, alluring India. Home of yogic science and scripture, birthplace of Patanjalii - a sage who authored the Yoga Sutras about 2200 years ago. (The Yoga Sutras, literally translated as "the path to transcendence," are an ancient guide for living, interacting and self-realization. Step one: know that not only do you experience pain and suffering, but you contribute to it. So stop it. The path? It is eight-fold and rooted in a daily, physically demanding, humbling path known as Ashtanga Yoga. But that's another story entirely....)

India: also birthplace to countless children left without parents, families, or homes. (And that's another story, too.) All this need is met with seemingly equal opportunity for volunteering with orphans there. In fact, the number of charitable organizations doing just that is staggering. The possibilities were inundating. (Oh, wonderful problem!)

But know this: I'm the kind of person that panics in large grocery-stores, let alone a WalMart or CostCo. In there it's like panic vs. claustrophobia vs. vertigo. Land where the aisles expand in every direction: forward and backward and upward and outward. They throb with their stacks of over-sized groceries and hardware, toys and office furniture, jewelry and electronics. What do I need here? 3 gallons of ketchup? A gold watch? A bushel of apples? A Chutes and Ladders board-game? A 6-pack of "The Road Less Traveled"? A 36-pack of canned tuna? Salted or unsalted? In water or oil? Or maybe just that coffin?

That's how researching volunteer-trip organizations in India was. Even once I narrowed down to Southern India, the myriad options seemed daunting. Plus, how long have they existed? What's their impact? Reputation? How much do they charge? How long to process applications? Do they offer two-week, four-week, six or eight week programs? Who do they use for host homes? Are they a British, American, German or French organization? Does that even matter? I'd tackle it.

Well, come last October, although buried amid the possibilities and in various stages of inquiries and applications, I still had to go to work. And October in the fashion business means Stylemax Chicago.


Me checking out those paper beads.

Stylemax is an apparel and accessory trade show held four times each year at the Merchandise Mart - the largest commercial building in the world. Each floor spans two city-blocks. And situated across from my booth on the south-east corner of that vast 7th floor sat Kristen Hendricks. Kristen Hendricks with her piles and strands of brightly-colored beads, some hanging from six-foot tall paper-mache trees, all surrounded with posters of beautiful, beaming African girls. This was no ordinary Stylemax vendor - and the photos were of no ordinary teenage girls.

These girls - victims of human trafficking - live in a home in Gulu where they are healing and recovering some of the love, joy, and innocence that they were robbed of at adolescence. These girls live in the Purse of Hope house.

Long story short: within 36 hours of meeting Kristen Hendricks, founder of Purse of Hope, I had purchased non-refundable tickets to Uganda. Departing in merely two weeks.

So, it was and wasn't a snap decision to go.

In form, certainly.

In substance, not.

Kristen and I

Uganda: 3-2-1-Impact - REPOSTED FOR JESSICA HARING

2010-12-09T10:52:00.003-06:00

REPOSTED FOR MY DEAR FRIEND JESSICA, NOW ON HER WAY TO UGANDA...
Weeraba, Jess! Hope to see you soon...(on Ugandan turf.)

Here I come, Uganda.

Here I come with my anti-bacterial wipes
And my bug-spray.
Sunscreen.
Power bars.

Here I come with my pharmaceuticals.
One for anxiety, one for depression, one for panic, for jet-lag.
For malaria.

Drugs for allergies, upset stomach, eye-infection.

Something for constipation.
Something for diarrhea.
Something even stronger for diarrhea.

Here I come, vaccinated against Yellow Fever, tuberculosis, Rabies, Polio, Hepatitis B, influenza. Measles, Mumps, Rubella.

With Permethrin and Pepto Bismal I come to you.

With my fiber pills, vitamins and pro-biotics, I approach.

Iodine tablets, first-aid kit, Swiss army knife.
Dry toilet-paper, moist wipes, tampons.

Check, check, check.

Wide-rimmed hat, compact umbrella, mosquito net. Check.

Audio-recorder, video-recorder, camera. Check.

A fresh copy of the Upanishads, and old copy of Rumi’s poetry, blank Moleskin journals, and my atheism in tow.

I am ready for everything you might throw at me, you war-ravaged, impoverished, third-world, you.

Ready for everything , that is, except the impact of what I'd actually find.

Simultaneous Multiplicity: About a Moment

2009-10-29T12:12:00.007-05:00

Certain magic happened this morning,
during my yoga practice:

at one point
spanning several moments
maybe more
(maybe less)

the ceiling tin molding, ivory white
the smell of the room
the music
the voice
the instruction
"don't do it, let it"

drifting further

here and now intermingle with other times
other places
places and times I've already experienced
places and times yet ahead

simultaneously here and there

simultaneously
released
and
held

(thank you Alie!)

Simultaneous Multiplicity: What have you been? OR: What's in the stew that is you?

2009-10-14T11:53:00.011-05:00

Well, what have you been, so far?

People often ask: "what do you do?" You might say, "I'm a teacher" or "a stock-broker" or "a fire-fighter" or "a social-worker". We ask about what others do for a living, I suspect, to get an idea about another person's identity. And many of us answer with the singular "I'm a this" or "a that"; which is inherently so very limited!

As much as some would like to believe we exist in a singular role, perhaps defined by what we do, like a character in a book or film, we don't. What we do to make a living doesn't necessarily reflect who we are. Oh sure, it can. For many, it may define who they are. But for others of us, if our day-job does reflect who we are as individuals, it reflects a mere portion. Many of us DO and ARE multiple things. For example, some of my friends teach at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, but they are ALSO artists, writers, thinkers, creators, activists and pot-stirrers. What we do is an ingredient in the savory-sweet stew that is "you".

We are simultaneously multiplicitous beings! Ever evolving. We expand and change what we do - what we are - as time progresses. Our roles are amorphous... at least, they CAN be as we evolve and grow and reach goals and establish new ones. And keep reaching.

So, what have you been? (Any role sustained over a period of time.)

For example, I identify as an Artist and my day-job is at lululemon athletica. There, I thrive on the constantly moving visual puzzle known as merchandising. (Magnificent company, magnificent people, magnificent merchandise to merchandise.) But I've been other things too:

A waitress, an actress, a butcher.
A voice-over talent; business owner, marketing consultant, focus group moderator. An advertising executive.
A babysitter.
A juror.
A student, volunteer, teacher.
A classical pianist.

Yogini.

A daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, niece, wife.
A client, patient, victim.

A friend, a lover.

NOW IT'S YOUR TURN. (C'mon, try this. It's fun.)
- Who have you been?
- And, what do you still want to be?

Tell me,
Tell someone.
Then, go for it.

(NOW.)

Fall... in love?

2009-10-13T12:33:00.004-05:00

Have you ever fallen in the fall?

Isn't there just something inherently romantic about the rustling leaves flirting loudly overhead or crispy crunching under the bicycle he rides as you stand on the back-tire pegs and lean against his back as dollops of yellow and orange and crimson cascade?

Carving pumpkins, squishing the goopy seedy pulpy crackly guts through your fingers and giggling at the grossness.

Or holding hands to keep warm outdoors...

...body heat between cold sheets...

Looking back, is there a season during which you usually become smitten with a new significant other? What about the season makes it (even more) special?

Please share your stories!

Colorful Chicago Weekend:

2009-09-20T12:45:00.005-05:00

Out front:

At the park:

Out back:

Ladies, Defend Thyselves!

2009-09-10T09:02:00.011-05:00

With all the recent muggings in and around Lincoln Park lately, it's never been more timely to learn, brush up on, or practice ways to physically protect ourselves. So last night, lululemon athletica (2104 N. Halsted) hosted a self-defense seminar. Awesome stuff.

Robert Kim, Barry St. John and Gabriel Nechifor (all with remarkable Martial Arts credentials) talked about and demonstrated 1. prevention strategies, 2. various types of strikes, 3. creative weapons and, 4. escapes . They had us practice hits, kicks, and escapes using them, each other, a couple of assistants (with padded shin guards - thanks guys!), and lots of punching mitts. Here are the highlights (some I oversimplified to give the gist):

Regarding Prevention:
- BE AWARE of your surroundings - look and listen. (Turn off/down the ipod, better yet, take out the earphones).
- Walk in the most WELL LIT places - even in the street. (Obviously, watch out for cars if you do this.)
- A bag worn across your shoulders (messenger-bag style) makes you easier to take down. A bad-guy can grab it and use it to force you down or off balance because it's firmly wrapped around you. So, put it over one shoulder instead.
- If it comes to a pursuit, RUN and use what you have around you to create obstacles: push over a garbage can behind you, close doors, etc. (Bob said: "think like you're Jackie Chan." If you don't know who Jackie Chan is, go rent one of his movies. Do this NOW.)

Regarding Strikes:
- Groin kicks. Ladies, I don't mean kick the bad guy in the nuts. Barry said our goal is to "smash the testicles up and into the bone." SMASH THEM.
- Punching. Akin to a boxing jab. Remember to throw your punch AND bring it back. Go for the "sensory organs": mouth, nose, ears, eyes. Speaking of eyes...
- Finger jab. Like the punch but with your fingers straight out and together. (You're punching with your fingers.) Your target: eyeballs.

Creative Weapons:
- KEYS. Put one of them between your index and middle finger. Put one between all your fingers - like Freddy Kruger. If you punch someone with those keys it's gonna hurt them badly enough to slow them down and give you a head-start running away. (Kiss your bedazzled-brass-knuckles goodbye.)
- HEELS. Carry your high-heels as if they are weapons. Use one to punch or hit an assailant. In the sensory organs: mouth, nose, ears, eyes.

Escapes:
- If you find yourself in a bear hug, HEAD BUTT or FOOT STOMP the bad-guy to momentarily disorient him. AND DO IT LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. Then, simultaneously pop up your elbows as you drop all your body weight (either into a squat or to the ground) to escape the bear hug. (Now run.)
- Choke holds. Guess how long it can take for a choke hold to make you unconscious? Three seconds. THREE SECONDS. So if you find yourself in one, DON'T WASTE ANY TIME. DIG YOUR CHIN down and into the bent part of the arm around your neck. This restricts the choke a bit. Drop or relax your shoulder closest to bad-guy and twist down, in, and out. You can even force him off balance and down or flip him over with the force of the downward twist. I swear.
- If trapped in any bind from behind, we can also HIP BUTT to throw the assailant off balance, and then remember those KICKS and PUNCHES from earlier.

Does some of this sound challenging? EXACTLY! It's not natural instinct. It takes a little training and practice. But even after the hour with these guys last night, I feel less vulnerable than before. And I'm practicing my kicks and punches. Call these guys, take a seminar or a class, practice at the punching bags at your gym or with friends. But LEARN and PRACTICE and TEACH YOUR FRIENDS. And, do it NOW.

Bob Kim: 773.988.3046
Barry St. John: 773.350.7826
Gabriel Nechifor: 773.510.6420

Or, visit: www.hififitness.com

And: http://www.lululemon.com/chicago/halsted

For what do you ache?

2009-09-07T21:59:00.006-05:00

People of zee whirl: Most of you reading this know me at least a little; you know that when it comes to people, I value character, integrity, empathy, depth, vulnerability, thoughts, originality, hard work, risks and failure. I seek to harvest ideas, explore experiences and viewpoints and encourage outrageous dreams (with a strategic gameplan, of course).

Well, talk about coincidence. While dusting off my copy of "The Living I Ching" last night, an old, folded, photo-copied piece of paper fell out. It's an invitation, in fact "The Invitation," masterfully authored by Oriah M. Dreamer. It radiates shared sentiments with such finesse and pith it's remarkable - it's exhilarating. Challenging. And I promise it will make your heart beat faster as you read it, if you really read it...:

THE INVITATION
( by Oriah M. Dreamer)

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you've touched the center of your sorrow, if you've been opened by life's betrayals, or have you become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own; without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes, without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic or to remember the limitations of the human being.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling is true, I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal, and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see Beauty, even when it's not pretty everyday, and if you can source your life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours or mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout at the silver of the full moon "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you've studied. I want to know what sustains you when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

On Yoga: Think Crossword Puzzle

2009-09-05T11:24:00.006-05:00

Far too often I hear people say: "I can't do yoga because I'm not flexible enough" or "strong enough" or "balanced enough" or "thin enough."

Exactly. That is WHY you should begin exploring yoga. Nobody enters yoga being flexible, strong, balanced and thin. When I began practicing in 1997, I couldn't do a forward bend and touch the floor without bending my knees. (Now I can morph into a pretzel.) Growing up an athlete, playing soccer, volleyball, basketball, tennis, lifting weights, you-name-it, left me pretty inflexible - especially in the hips and legs. And I hated stretching. Didn't like the slowness - I was always too amped up just prior to getting on the field or court to go kick some butt. And afterwards? Forget it. Too pooped out. Thirsty. Sore. Which brings me back to inflexibility. That was me.

My first yoga classes were of the Ashtanga variety. At the time, I thought it involved weird out-loud breathing, confusing poses and movements, it moved too fast and I had no idea what everyone was doing. Plus, what on earth does "chataranga" or "uttanasana" or "virabhadrasana" or "urdhva muhka svanasana" mean? The instructors didn't even speak English! Utterly baffled, and convinced I was doing everything wrong, I stayed in the back so I could watch my peers and attempt to mirror them. I sucked at it.

Although remarkably frustrated, I was also intrigued. Fascinated. This yoga thing challenged me physically and mentally. I could see how those well-practiced yogis surrounding me moved. They were magnificent creatures. Sublime. Completely bad-ass. I had much to learn.

So I stuck with it. And I explored other disciplines besides Ashtanga: Vinyasa, Iyengar, Bikram, Kundalini, you name it. I discovered that each has it's own origin, focus, challenges and variations. Gradually over the years, I became flexible. Strong. Balanced. Thin. And so can you.

Here is where the crossword-puzzle thing comes in. Have you ever sat down with a Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle and attempted to complete it? First time I tried, I almost pulled my hair out. Second time, too. Third, fourth, fifth, ad infinitum. It's maddening. I promise, if you've never tried, sit down with one and try to finish it in one sitting (even two sittings, heck, work at it all week, all month, whatever). Then try another one. And another. And another. And another. I also promise, that gradually, you will complete more and more clues. You may even devise a strategy on how to approach each puzzle from different angles, enabling you to complete even more clues. (Although, until you have looked up the muses names, no strategy in the world will help you.)

Crossword puzzles, like yoga, can be esoteric. They possess a specific vernacular and rhythm, and require discipline and tenacity. If you stick with them, you will eventually complete one. Promise.

But in order to progress in anything, you first need to begin.

P.S. The muse of practice is Meletē.

Saltz: New York Challenges Glenn Beck to Art Exhibition:

2009-09-04T10:45:00.001-05:00

(From new york magazine)

9/3/09 at 3:45 PM

Glenn Beck doesn't like our art. New York magazine art critic Jerry Saltz challenges him to put his taste where his mouth is.

Last night, Fox News' harebrained commentator Glenn Beck took up the role of extreme right-wing art critic. He did a batty eight-minute paranoid rant tying together Obama, communism, NBC, the Soviet Union, Mussolini, Standard Oil, syphilis, fascism, the U.N., architecture, and public art in New York. Railing about "propaganda" in "plain sight," he fumed about an offensive 1937 door frame at Rockefeller Plaza showing a figure with wheat and a man holding a hammer. In no time, he was hysterical about how these figures represented "the worker and the farmer," and there was even a hammer and a sickle pictured (although the hammer resembled a shovel). It was his own private Da Vinci Code, tying all these degenerates together with “death panels,” ACORN, and socialism.

He then took off after a 1936 bas-relief at 636 Fifth Avenue, saying it "drives me nuts," concluding that a sun represented a "bright tomorrow," a wheel is "industry," and horses are the "engines of industry," and that the whole thing creates a connection between a strong leader, Mussolini, children, indoctrination, and "our president!" For the rest of the time, he basically attacked an early-twentieth-century sculpture based on the biblical passage in Isaiah about “turning swords into plowshares” and how progressives and fascists and communists were all one thing and that it somehow related to the Rockefeller Foundation giving a grant to the new czar for green jobs. I hope he doesn’t ask for the Statue of Liberty to be torn down because the poem on its base, "The New Colossus" ("Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses … ") was written by a communist Jewish woman, Emma Lazarus.

Since it’s always good when bears like this come out of the woods, let's try to coax this one out a little further.

A challenge to Glenn Beck: Curate two exhibitions in New York.

•The first, images (or actual artworks) that exist in New York City that he would like to see demolished. He could call it Degenerative Art.

• The second, a show of CONTEMPORARY ART that he approves of.

In the spirit of bi-partisanship, I would secure a first-rate New York venue for each exhibition and would write about each show in New York Magazine.

Who knows, after these shows, maybe we can get Morley Safer to do an exhibition of his watercolors of motel rooms, along with a showing of art that he approves of.

And, for reference, here's Beck:

A quote: Kahlil Gibran

2009-09-03T07:08:00.003-05:00

"Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth."

I quintuple dare YOU

2009-09-03T06:54:00.003-05:00

I'm taking these dares. Join me:

"I dare you to say yes to a possibility you've said no to in the past.

I double dare you to try an impossible thing before lunch each day.

I triple dare you to imagine you're a genius at inspiring people to like you and help you.

I quadruple dare you to drive overly stable people crazy for all the right reasons.

I quintuple dare you to fantasize that your so-called delusions of grandeur have begun to contain more than a few grains of truth."

From Rob Breszney's www.freewillastrology.com

"Disappointment"

2009-09-01T13:07:00.001-05:00

Certain people use "disappointment" to attempt to affect my behavior. Eg.: "So and so will be very disappointed if you don't come (to this/that event)... so, will you please come?"

No, I will not. I couldn't before and I still can't. Even though he or she or you or anyone might be disappointed.

This may sound chilly, but, your disappointments are not my responsibility. (Mine are.) I trust you will work through said disappointment and it will all but have melted away by the time of said event.

I suspect this type of behavior is a deeply embedded system or code that works for/on many people. It does not work for/on me. But I find it curious and interesting to observe. N'est pas?

Check out these lyrics:

2009-09-01T12:04:00.000-05:00

For The Pier (And Dead Shimmering)- by Sunset Rubdown

I pushed off the pier
Infinity ran cold
And filled up my ears
There’s the weapon you hold
There’s the thing that you hold it to
And the thing you hold dear

Oh the speed of a year
It runs the wood dry
And water unclear
There’s the thing you hold high
And then there’s the thing that you hold it to
And the thing you hold dear

I will be an enemy
To men seen in the light
Do you think it’s alright?
Yes, I think it’s alright

If you make the waves the sun makes the rays
The speed of the light can be trusted to prey
To prey on the fools that pushed off your pier
The whirling of pools runs clear

So I’ll be out till the shimmering dies
I’ll be out till the shimmering dies
It’s the wringing out the predatory nature of the sky
And the ringing sound it makes
When it’s burning out your eyes
It’s alright, it’s alright
It’s the speed of the light
It’s the speed of a year
It’s the weapon you hold
And the thing you hold dear
Oh my dear oh my dear
It’s infinity’s time to shine out here

If you make the waves the sun makes the rays
The speed of the light can be trusted to prey
To prey on the fools that pushed off your piers
The whirling of pools runs clear
Da da da dad um
The rocking of boats and the making of mirrors
The whirling of pools running clear

I hear them say “Put the weapon away”
It’s the thing that you know and my taking it away, I know
But I’ll find a way to let the dear thing go